I gotta be me…

Sammy Davis Jr.

Whether I’m right or whether I’m wrong
Whether I find a place in this world or never belong
I gotta be me, I’ve gotta be me
What else can I be but what I am

Now that I have you singing this catchy phrase from the song “I Gotta Be Me” made popular by Sammy Davis Jr., I want you to take to heart that you gotta be you and I gotta be me.  In my effort to better understand my life’s purpose I have genuinely come to appreciate who I am and what it is that I have to offer. I have come to realize that my life’s journey (and yours) is not about becoming someone other than who I am, or doing something that somehow sets me apart from others. It is about me being me, the best me I can be in every moment. And in being the best me in any given moment I connect to others on the soul level where the authentic me (and you) exists.  It is a journey of self-expression.

“This journey of self-expression is a divine process
through which we are presented opportunities
to express who we are in every given moment”

Now isn’t it a bit strange that we have to discuss how being me, or in your case being you, is the way to live your life? How can we possible be someone or something other than who we are? And yet, that is what most of us do over the course of our lives. We try hard, real hard, to become something or someone other than who we are meant to be. It would seem that the easiest person to be is ourselves.  But because of limiting beliefs we hold about ourselves and our acceptance of opinions from others upon which we place more value than our own, we are more often someone other than who we long to be.

With out becoming too analytical there are questions we can ask and  answer that keep us on the path to becoming and experiencing  who it is we desire to become. The questions can be answered in words, however the most important answer always comes in the form of a feeling.  How do I feel about who I am in this situation?  Each of us knows the feeling attendant with our true self. We can’t describe it for one another, we just know.  It is when we experience this feeling that we are “being” the best version of who we are in the process of becoming.

The first and most obvious question to ask ourselves is, “Who do I want to be?”   Neale Donald Walsch  in his trilogy, Conversations with GOD, refers to this as, “the grandest vision we hold of our life and self.”  Holding this vision of who we want to be results in opportunities to become that vision. It becomes the invitation for all that we need to become and experience our greatest vision. 

Next we ask, “Who am I in this moment? Am I expressing (being) the me that I hold as my grandest vision?  Am I expressing the greatest version of me that I can in this moment? Each moment offers us the opportunity to express a better version of ourselves.

Another great question is, “What is my relationship with myself?” How do I really feel about myself and who I am being? Am I expressing love, joy, happiness, kindness and peace towards myself?  What we express towards others, especially those we love and care for,  is what we should be expressing towards ourselves.   Am I being the greatest version of my grandest vision towards myself?

“Who we express ourselves to be in each moment is an expression
of who we are and are in the process of becoming”

While this seems like a lot of work it is really just awareness. The awareness of who we are being (expressing and feeling), who we are becoming, and who we desire to be.  As mentioned above it is the feeling we experience that confirms whether or not we are in alignment with our grandest vision.  Just as our feelings let us know we are on track they also signify that we are out of sync with who we desire to be. When what we are feeling just doesn’t feel right we know we are in need of a correction.  Just like a GPS system lets us know when we have made an incorrect turn, our feelings let us know we have made a decision that is not supportive of who we want to be.  Understand that there are no wrong feelings. When we don’t feel right, or don’t feel the way we would like to feel, the feelings are still right feelings.  They are right because  they guide us to the awareness of who we are being in that moment. It is then we can choose to express a better version of ourselves then was previously expressed.

In one of my presentations I talk about how it is “all about me.”  We usually think of this in terms of someone being arrogant, conceited or egotistical.  However in this context it is all about me being me, the best me I can be in any given moment, the me I desire to be in any given moment. It is about my responsibility to be the best version of me under all circumstances. My responsibility being my ability to respond to whatever is happening around me and expressing a better version of myself.  The more I am expressing the true me, the more you are expressing the true you,  the more we  live our lives in a more rewarding, more enriching, more fulfilling way.  And as has been mentioned many times before this doesn’t mean we won’t experience difficulties, heartbreak, disappointment or sadness, for we will.  It is when we understand and accept that these experiences are created on our behalf that we can more fully express our true selves, our greatest version of ourselves, and therefore become more fulfilled as we move beyond them.

When I sit down to write I typically put down ideas and thoughts in a very rough draft format and let it sit for a few days. I let it simmer in my mind while being open to examples of how this particular message is played out in the world. This process allows me to go much deeper with the message I am given to share. Writing this blog is no different. After I wrote the rough draft I was going through this process when I found myself engaged in a conversation with a colleague who was very upset about a recent business experience.  The experience had been a demonstration of  a lack of integrity and professionalism on the part of a few other real estate practitioners.  The events caused her to question whether she wanted to be a part of an industry where people treat one another with such disrespect.  And were it not for the high level of integrity within which I knows she operates these events could have caused others to questions her integrity, professionalism and therefore harm her reputation. This colleague of mine has a very specific vision of who she is, who she wants to be and how she will be remembered when all is said and done. What she had experienced was in total conflict with this vision.

Please note that this is not intended to disparage the real estate industry, an industry that I have enjoyed for over 33 years. Every industry has a few people who unfortunately can tarnish the profession. Similar situations occur in them all , it just so happens that this example is in the real estate industry.

As we continued our conversation I wanted her to understand that this experience (opportunity) did not occur to cause her to question the integrity of others, or to question the real estate industry. It was an opportunity created for her to be true to herself and to express her true self, the self she holds as her grandest vision. It is and was all about her. How she expressed herself in this situation provided the opportunity to become more of the person she desires to be and is in the process of becoming.   It was an opportunity to express a better version of herself while on her way to the grandest vision. For her and for each one of us each situation presents this opportunity. By being the greatest version of herself in that moment she negates any influence or impact the actions of the others might have had. It is also in these moments that we are given the opportunity to exercise one of the most challenging, but most beneficial lessons we are here to learn, non-judgment.

So, in closing, I invite you to look at your perspective about life. Do you believe things are happening to you, or do you believe things are happening for you? Do you believe the Universe supports you in expressing the greatest version of yourself  in every moment, or do you believe the Universe is working to defeat you and bring you to your knees?

I gotta be me and you gotta be you. In doing so we support one another in this  Divine process. Becoming a better version of ourselves under all circumstances will always bring to us what we most need to continue our respective journey of self-expression, and therefore spiritual growth.

Until next time,
Jim