A very common piece of advice
given to folks who are frustrated, stressed out or just plain unhappy with everything, including themselves, is to just let go. Sounds simple, right? And we all seem to have an idea of what it means, yet we still struggle with actually doing it.
What’s the problem? Well, it seems that the problem is we really don’t know what it means to let go and as a result, don’t know how to let go.
This came to my attention during a recent coaching session. My client was stressed, frustrated, stagnate and stuck in inertia because of the many items and people that were demanding her attention and pulling her in all direction.
I told her she just needs to let go, to which she responded, “I don’t even know what that means. Everyone keeps saying, “just let go”, but I am never told how.”
I will begin by sharing my understanding of what it means to let go and then move into the all important “how.”
Letting go is acceptance and allowance. Accepting where you are in life, accepting the experiences you are having in life, accepting who you are in this moment in life and accepting the truth that you have the power to change it. And then, allowing your Self to do so.
Letting go is accepting and allowing without judgment. This isn’t to imply that we just accept life as the cards we were dealt and therefore can do nothing about our life experiences. It means accepting, “OK, here I am. I take full responsibility for where I am and I take full responsibility for where I will go from this moment forward”.
It is only in this moment, the only time there is, that you are as you are. Each moment presents the opportunity to change what is to what you desire, however to do so you must let go of the belief that you have no say in how life unfolds. In an interesting paradoxical way, letting go is regaining your personal power.
Letting go is releasing the white knuckle grip on all of those “things” you believe are causing your difficulty or misery and embracing all that life offers up while trusting it is always for your highest and best.
Letting go is the refocusing of your attention from what was and what you fear might be, to what is and can be. It is being present to now.
Letting go is moving from resistance and attachment to flow. Giving your Self permission to enjoy and embrace life fully and completely without being attached to any of it. Be in this world not of this world.
A challenge to letting go is the thought that if we do all hell will break loose. Quite frankly, that is exactly what will happen, and exactly what you want to happen. Once hell breaks lose you have the opportunity to be free of it, if you so choose. The hell you experience is the hell you so dearly hold on to. Let it go and be free.
The hell you experience is the hell you so dearly hold on to. Let it go and be free. -Jim Phillips Click To Tweet
OK, so you have my perspective on what it means to let go, now what? Here are three keys to letting go and getting into flow with life.
- Be aware of and vigilant with your thoughts and beliefs. Are they limiting or liberating? Are they holding you back or propelling you forward?
- You always have a choice. No matter the circumstances there is always a choice that can be made, even if it is to do or not do something, this is still a choice with its attendant consequences. Make choices consistently in alignment with the experiences you desire.
- Life is not static. The more we attempt to hold on to the way things are the more challenging life becomes. The more we accept and allow the dynamic nature of life and all it offers the more enjoyable and fulfilling our experiences in life.
Try this..Make a tight fist. Now hold it for 10 seconds…Now allow it to gently unfold..Describe how that feels.. That is the feeling and power of letting go.What lies within the open hand is the power to give and receive ~Jim Phillips Click To Tweet
In closing, I leave you with an excerpt from my first book, The Key to LIFE, Living In Full Expression.
Life is fluid. Life flows whether we are in flow with it or not just as water continues to flow over and around a boulder that would resist it. In the end, however, it is the boulder that surrenders to the persistence of the water that would wear it away. And so it is with us. We eventually surrender to the persistence of life and come to accept all it offers.
Surrender (letting go) is not about giving up; it is giving in. It is giving in to the magnificence of what can be, the magnificence of all that we are, the magnificence of Self. Our boulders in life are the limiting thoughts and beliefs we hold about our Self.
Regardless of how much we resist what life is offering life will eventually wear down our limiting beliefs, not causing us to throw our hands in the air in surrender but to raise our hands in victory as we accept that life will always offer what we need for the grandest experience and expression of Self.
Until next time,
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“Let go”.. Easy to say it, not easy to actually do it! Great article 😉 Thank you for sharing your wisdom Jim!
You are correct, Annie. Letting go is difficult because we fear what we don’t know instead of joyously anticipating what might be!
Thanks for the amazing article. I needed to read this to remind me to let go. Yes it is difficult because I always want to “feel” in control, but there are so many, and so often bombardments, that make me stumble and want to quit or give up. I still have a dream and that dream fades and then jumps up into the foreground to encourage me. It seems the “hell breaking loose” is here and “letting go” is even more stressful at times. It takes a day or two of crying to clear that “hell” from my mind and then decide what it is I can do to move forward. Thank you for your wisdom and amazing books.
Rosemary, thank you for your comments. I think you speak for a lot of us as you share your experience of your dream being alive and then fading and then “jumping into the foreground to encourage you.” I am reminded of a quote I was given during one of my early morning walks that serves me well as I experience what you have expressed. And that quote is, “We would not be inspired to do something if it were not intended to be.” And that is why our dreams, your dreams, continue to jump into the foreground, for they are intended to be.